Have You Recently Discovered Your Teenage Son Is Bullying Other Males?
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Bullying is all about power and control over others. Male bullying, the physicality of it, is far worse than girl bullying. If you have recently discovered your teenage son is bullying other males and want to know how to stop this behavior, it is going to take a lot of work and assistance on the part of your family.
The way to stop male bullying is to first understand its origin. Perhaps your spouse is a male bully. Children learn what they see at home, and if your husband has verbally or physically abused you or anyone in the home, this is something that has to be addressed immediately through professional intervention.
While your immediate concern is to stop your teenage son from continuing his male bullying behavior, you cannot do this alone. It is more likely that your son began this type of behavior early on with verbal abuse and was never told about the consequences of his actions. Or perhaps your son became a teenage bully because of some inner conflict that began some time ago and was never questioned about it.
You may have been notified by a school official that your son was involved in a male bullying incident. Perhaps this was the first time. Maybe you had no inkling whatsoever your child was so out of control. Perhaps all of his frustrations were not revealed on the home front, but only at school. Thus, you are now confronted with a frightening prospect that your teenage son is a male bully and you desperately need to know how to stop this. But how?
First, accept the fact your teenage son has a problem. Second, remove any guilt that you may feel over not recognizing the signs. Third, discuss the situation with your spouse to try and determine if this is a learned behavior or something that just developed.
Next, call a psychologist. Boys are less likely to open up to family members, especially parents. Be prepared for a great deal of anger to be displayed by your son. He may feel betrayed by you making an appointment to seek professional help. He may stay in his room, blast the music, avoid homework assignments; even cut classes.
This will not be an easy time for you or your family. But you are the heart of the house and as such you have to keep everything in perspective and everyone together. Have a family meeting, especially if you have younger children. They may have been frightened by your son’s behavior and you need to explain to them what is being done to help him.
Show your son as much love and support as you can. Keep the lines of communication open, and don’t engage in the blame game. It isn’t going to help the overall situation. Once your son is in therapy, the reasons for him becoming a teenage bully will become known soon enough. Sit down with your spouse and discuss it.
Your son is going to go through a great deal of emotional angst when in therapy. If he doesn’t want to talk to you, don’t push it. Give him space to work it out. The therapist will give him tools with which he can use to control his anger while determining the underlying cause.
Stay strong. Your instincts will let you know when the time is right to approach your son to begin a dialogue of healing. If your teenage son is bullying other males, you can stop this. It will take time, but it can be accomplished.
© By Mandy-Jane Clarke
Stop-Bullies.com
Tags: male bully, male bullying, teenage bully, teenage son bullying other males, teenage son bullying othersLike this post? Share this post with your friends and family using the Tell A Friend box. Please feel welcome to leave a comment below and continue the conversation, or subscribe to Stop-Bullies.com's feed and get our updates and posts delivered automatically to your feed reader.
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